So here I am learning CPR. I picked the most shadowy photo out of the bunch Jason (the photographer) took, because I had no idea my picture would be taken that night. I had told the other CPR attendees that a photographer would be coming, and they all gasped and exclaimed, "You didn't warn us!" I laughed at their reaction. Then, as the long night got longer, I put a bandana over my crazy humidity hair, I washed all traces of makeup off my face, and then walked out to see Jason and hear him say, "So Carol (the editor) wants me to take your picture tonight." Figures.

I actually had it better than most, though, because I got to choose which one I wanted to use. It's cute, though I'm not used to seeing myself from such an angle. Once again, I realize I am fixated on how I appear. Aren't we all? I remember a Walker Percy novel (The Thanatos Syndrome, I believe) in which the characters lost their sense of self. The protagonist, Tom Moore, realized this when the affected people looked at photos in which they figured and didn't bother to first find themselves. That's when he realized the townspeople were being insidiously drugged to "make them happy." It's funny I don't remember much else of the novel (though it is on my reread list) but that point stuck with me. There is something very important about seeing ourselves through the eyes (or camera lens) of others. Should it be so? Would it be possible to change this? Is there anyone on earth, no matter how unselfish, who wouldn't first look for his or her own image in a photograph? After all, I am the most important person ... every person would say that. Another reason why Jesus was so difficult and so contrary. He tells us to decrease so that He may increase.